Wow, it’s been more than 2 months since I’ve posted! I’ve had so many ideas and insights that I’ve wanted to share, but I’ve been in a state of resistance (every time I say this, I hear in my head le piece de resistance from The Lego Movie) and the more time passed, the more powerful le piece de resistance became.
Alas, now that I’m sitting, where on earth to begin?!? Let me start with Thanksgiving since I had really wanted to share about that experience at the time. My family is great, but sometimes (ok, let’s be honest, often) being around them lights me up one way or the other. I have done so much personal growth work, yet put me with my family, and babam! I revert back to the bratty, bossy, self-righteous witch of yore. I was meditating two, sometimes three times a day to try to bring myself back from the dark side, and while several times it helped, too many others, I stood by incredulously watching, but not stopping, the monster-me devour whomever was in my way.
It was ugly. No, I, was ugly. Did I immediately go down the dark hole of self-judgement and self-criticism when I returned? Nope, I’d already started that during the long drive home. Double, babam!
Luckily, I have a regular appointment on Mondays with a psychic friend where we trade looks for each other. As the universe so perfectly arranges, that particular session was my chance to ask questions, so of course I asked about what had happened over Thanksgiving. She told me what she saw, we did some energy work around it, and lo and behold I had a huge shift.
Remember, I’ve been doing this sort of thing for almost 15 years, yet, I was still able to experience an incredible release; so much so, that by the time Christmas rolled around and I was right back in that same environment, it was a completely difference scenario–and drum roll please, might I dare say enjoyable?!!?
I like to think of growth work as an onion–you peel back layer after layer and at some point to get to the core of the issue. It can feel like you’re not making progress when the same or similar issues keep coming up over and again. But more than likely, you are just moving through the different layers making more progress than you realize. I distinctly remember telling my friend that memorable Monday, “I’m so sick of this issue, I’m done, I want to move on,” and so be it. Am I “cured”? doubtful, changed? definitely.
This experience left me fired up!! Energy/spiritual work, or personal growth, or whatever you want to call it, can be incredibly powerful and rewarding. It also reminded me about the difference between doing the work and walking the walk. There’s a Grand Canyon-sized gap between reading a book about running, for example, and running; reading about meditation and meditating; wanting personal growth and growing; wanting to write a post and writing it.
There, it’s written! And it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I’d made it out to be in my head. Here’s hoping I can get to New Year’s before Easter rolls around.
Happy 2015 Everyone!