“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.” – Barbara De Angelis, best-selling author & personal growth specialist.
Greetings! I hope this correspondence finds you growing and in motion!
Wow, how did the first day of Autumn get here so quickly!? It’s been at least six months since I’ve emailed and consequently, my thoughts, ideas, experiences, and book/media recommendations that I’ve wanted to share have grown so mountainous that I won’t be able to write about them all or else this will end up being a winter solstice email! So instead of lamenting my lameness for not keeping up, I’ll focus instead on all those “perfect pictures” I’m blowing in order to actually press send on this little communication of mine despite it not being all that I want it to be.
Below are a few of the books/articles I’ve read/listened to which I thought you might enjoy as well…
Eckart Tolle’s “The Realization of Being”. For some reason it’s hard for me to stay with Tolle’s books in written form, but I love listening to him read his books. This is an older book of his, but just as powerful as his newer gems. I think I need to re-listen to this one yearly. I’ve just placed a few more of his on hold at the library and am looking forward to jumping into more of his meaty wisdom.
Thich Nhat Hanh’s “No Death, No Fear”. Death isn’t one of my big interests and I can’t pronounce the author’s name so I resisted this one for a long time. I was running out of options at the library, though, so I just gave it a try and wow, it blew me away!! He talks about changes in physical forms and gives such great examples of how we misunderstand our true essence when we get focused on those forms. It was absolutely fascinating!
I also resisted the Abraham series of books by Jerry and Esther Hicks. I don’t know why, something about spirits talking through people turned me off, but again, lacking other choices, I stumbled upon one of them and enjoyed it so much, that now I’ve checked out every single one available locally and requested a bunch of others from the greater library network. I don’t know if it would have the same impact reading these as listening to them because you can tell when Abraham comes through with the different voice, cadence, pitch, etc. Regardless, I just can’t get enough of these!
A friend sent me this excellent article on mediation http://www.fastcompany.com/3016649/work-smart/from-om-to-omg-science-your-brain-and-the-productive-powers-of-meditation . When you’re sitting there thinking you could be using your time more “productively”, refer back to this article for some hard science on the multitude of benefits you’re creating.
You probably already to subscribe to this newsletter, but just in case, I wanted to share this great article http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Gary-Zukav-What-Is-Holding-You-Back-From-Happiness .
I know this email is long, so go ahead and stop here if you like, because the best part of this email is above while the rest of this is just my waxing on about personal aha moments…
One of the frustrating things for me during this spiritual immersion into my reading material is that I seem to be so short fused and focused on the wrong things with my family. I think there’s a threefold cause:
1) I didn’t do enough self-care over the summer and by the end, had simply lost my ability to cope with the seemingly incessant demands of three active and creative kids. No one benefits from seeing their mother with her arms up telling the air in an exacerbated tone that she “can’t wait for school to start so I can think!!”
2) I was strongly inspired by the books/articles and knew how I wanted to be, but that didn’t match my current behavior, which in turn caused me more frustration/guilt. Had I done a better job of taking care of my own needs as mentioned above, I would have had the strength and resolve to actually use more of the skills I was learning.
3) Finally, the universe will often push back when we change and grow as a sort of “test” of our commitment to change. If you can persist and get through the growing pains phase, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I am just still in that stage of the growth cycle. Again, had I done a better job in #1, I would have been able to move through the resistance stage much more rapidly.
I share this just as a reminder that when you take care of your own healing/needs, everyone around you benefits. Self-care is the best gift we can give to others. This is a good thing to remember when we enter the “gift giving” stage of the holidays.
I did, however, have some moments of pure joy this summer and although fleeting, they filled me greatly. These times were not the one’s I’d imagined we’d have back at the beginning of the summer with that lovely blank slate to which I’d thought I’d fill with adventures during our last dog-free days (we got a puppy in August). They were just ordinary moments, but perceived differently. I’ll try to explain…
These experiences of immense joy didn’t happen during any Martha-esque moments; they occurred during real-life and ordinary situations–although in hindsight, it wouldn’t have mattered had it been a Martha moment or not. It was simply during those moments when I could completely release my perfect pictures about what summer should “look” like (smiling children, happy/fun mom having adventures and discoveries together, baking, crafting in a clean house, etc), that I could truly be present and experience this indescribable joy. When I could release the resistance to what “was” based on what I thought it “should” be, I was able to allow the grace of the moment in which was incredibly moving. It was as if I was experiencing the moment with my inner essence and not my physical eyes/brain/body if that makes sense. I am pretty sure this is what Eckhart Tolle is describing when he talks about being “present” in the moment, ie, it’s one thing to be present with your mind’s attention (which is certainly a step in the right direction from our normal distracted selves), but it becomes a whole other level when you are present with your essence. Maybe that’s why they call it presence. I don’t know, but I do know, I want to create more and more of these and eventually live a greater part of my life like this.
Anyway, as you know, I just love this stuff and could go on and on, but I’ll leave you now with a Happy Autumn wish for your own continued growth and happiness.
PS As always, should you wish not to receive my musings, just shoot me an email and I’ll take you off my distribution list. We’re all busy and receive way too many emails so no hard feelings.